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Work in Progress September 29, 2007

Posted by justforfun271 in Ava, Oh, the irony!.
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So I’m trying out these new things… I think they call them moral values. I’ve never really had any before and I’m just trying to see how they fit me. So far so good. I just wish everyone else could see this. A “friend” of mine, Hue, well he called me tonight cause he needed a DD and I figured I could do it and be nice, but Tracey was going to go with me. I knew the same thing that always happens would happen; he’d some how convince me to stay and we’d some how sleep together and then tomorrow after seeing him, and his small uncercumsized friend I would regret it. Not any more I’m tired of this shit, I’m not slutty, really I’m not, but I’m not a prude by any means. I’m hoping to get my room rearanged and that Hue will stop texting me. I have to be at work by nine tomorrow and that’s going to kind of suck but I’m getting money so what do I care. Here’s how I see this whole thing. I’m a work in progress, really I am. Figuring out my moral values and sticking by them is a really big step for me, I know I’ll only get better with time. I do realize however that peoples values slip from time to time so it’s not like I’m trying to be perfect. I tell my friends, don’t judge me, and I wont judge you, there’s no room for judgement in this relationship. Which ok I still judge some people like… “Does she know her shoes don’t match her clothes?” but if you tell me something that you’ve done, I’ll tell you if it was stupid, I’ll tell you what I think but I wont judge, because I’d hate to think that if other people judged me just how they’d do it. Well I’m going to go now. Besos.

Always on my own September 28, 2007

Posted by justforfun271 in Oh, the irony!, Penelope.
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I came down with a nasty little cold these past few days, so I had to miss class. I spent the entire day sleeping and generally feeling like shit. However, the premier of Ugly Betty was last night! After the first season left us with some suspenseful cliffhangers, the premier was sure to be exciting in all the new information that was revealed. Very fulfilling, I must say.

Ava asked me the other day to pick a song that I relate to the most. Oddly enough, I knew exactly what song to choose: Stars and Boulevards by Augustana. I won’t write out all of the lyrics, but the chorus of the song really hits home (irony!) for me. Basically, the song describes a feeling of never finding a home, which is something that I have been struggling with ever since I have returned from France. I’m not completely at home in the US or in France; it’s hard to deal with that feeling sometimes.

We, being Ava and me, have what I like to call a “change complex.” Neither of us can stay in the same place for too long (since our exchanges). We’ve discussed this extensively and have come to the conclusion that we move and change so much because we are still trying to find a place where we belong. She’s moving to North Carolina next year and even though I’m only a freshman in college (already 700 miles away from home!), I’m already thinking about transferring to an art school in California (from Georgia.) We just can’t get settle, or really, once we get settled we become unsatisfied and want to move again. It is honestly exhilarating, I relish in the feeling when I know I am going to be moving about.. but it’s frustrating for everyone else in our lives.

Soap Oprah Whore September 28, 2007

Posted by justforfun271 in Ava.
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That was the name Penny called me when I told her I though Ugly Betty was stupid. Ugly Betty looks like she’s twelve. When she cries I have to wonder if she just recieved her first menstration or something. Me though, I’m a grey girl, all the way. It’s comming on ten minutes, I’m so excited. OOO this is gonna be a good season. Anyway, I went to dinner with a friend of mine tonight and it was pretty good, Italin food, you gotta love it. I think I’m going out tonight… I think. I got all of my homework taken care of. But back to me being a Soap Oprah Hore, it’s not so bad. The drama in my life is nothing like what it is in the actual soap opera. Well that all I have got for tonight. Maybe tomorrow I’ll have some exciting story about tonight.

Swear to shake it up September 27, 2007

Posted by justforfun271 in Ava, Pursuit of Happiness.
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“Swear to shake it up, if you swear to listen”- Panic! At the Disco
If I make you bored just wait around a bit I’m bound to shake it up eventually. Because believe it or not even I get bored, and easily at that. Maybe its a good thing, maybe it’s a bad thing. Not too sure, all I know is when I get bored watch out because I’m bound to lift up roots and make plans to go somewhere else, and I dont mean somewhere close. In a little over 90 days I’m perminatly lifting roots and heading South. North Carolina. I’m scared, but I’m excited. I wasn’t even at the point of bored yet when I decided to make the move, I just called home one day and let them know “I’m leaving” I hadn’t even been back in the country for a whole month. That had me wondering if maybe there was something wrong with me in the fact that I’m never anywhere for very long, but I’ve asked around and everyone else seems to think I’m fine. I think North Carolina will be it for awhile though, it has to be. I’ve decided to try and settle down some, when I say that I just mean to become comfortable in one area. I’m fine with the leaving but I know eventually I’ll want to be close to people who have known me longer than five minutes. Well thats all I have for this evening. Enjoy

My life as a sitcom September 25, 2007

Posted by justforfun271 in Ava, Life.
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Okay… So I’m a big Grey’s Anatomy fan. I’ve been watching it on TV lately. Two very short sentences, I know. Well, when I was in Mexico I use to watch reruns of ER all the time because it was always on, like almost all the time. That show had me thinking I wanted to be a doctor and then I started watching Grey’s and I wanted to be a surgion. So now I’m trying to figure out if thats the show and the hot doctors doing that or if I really want to be a doctor. I mean no one would take me seriously. Ava Sommers MD haha. It even sounds funny to me.

Have you ever noticed how on shows like that, things seem way more dramatic than what they are. Its because of the head shots and all such, like the faces a character makes when they’re thinking something. Can you imagine if people had eyes like that and that’s how life looked. Just head shots, blurred images and focal images. I mean sometimes I watch people and the faces they make which signifies they’re thinking something serious. And often times when I was younger my friends would chime out “why cant my life be like that?” I don’t think most of us realize that our lives are like that in a sense. I mean hell one episode would be me in the Spain air port pondering whether or not I really wanted/should go home or not. It would be a cliff hanger, the end of a season. “Find out next season if Ava makes it back to the states” There would be stunned watchers. Well that all I got for now. Peace out

You can call me Penny: Penelope September 25, 2007

Posted by justforfun271 in Penelope.
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After receiving some nagging phone calls from Ava (she knows I love her, really), I finally have found the time to sit down and introduce myself. Where to begin? I think I should spare my life story as it’s not really that interesting, but just hit on some of the more major events in my life.

Well, my name is Penelope, Penny for short as you so wish and I am a college freshman. I go to college in Georgia, but I hail from Missouri. Before all this college stuff happened, I used to be an abnormal high schooler. Like Ava, I did a foreign exchange when I was 16, but instead I spent my year abroad in France. It was by far the best experience I have had in my life so far. It completely shaped and changed me as a person and for that I am forever grateful. Anyways, enough with the sappy emotional stuff.

As far as college is concerned, I’m thinking about either switching to art school or pursuing a degree in art history; I haven’t exactly decided yet, but I figure I still have another year to ponder things. Speaking of college, I just completed my first college paper and took my first college test; such milestones! The paper I am fairly confident about, but the test was quite a bit harder than I had anticipated. Silly Astronomy class (it’s actually really interesting, just too many numbers to memorize!)

There are some really confusing emotions going on in my life right now. I am struggling to find excitement in beginning college as well as coming to terms (still!) with my life in France. Sometimes, I honestly confuse myself.

So much for Saturday September 23, 2007

Posted by justforfun271 in Ava.
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So I had hoped to do lunch with my mom today, I know it sounds weird but my mom and I are close. Well she said she wasnt hungry and would do a late lunch so I figured I would do the same and by the time I got ahold of her again, she had already eaten. So I figured her and I could do dinner together, and I asked her about dinner so that we could eat together. I asked her several times and I assumed she would get the hint, well she didn’t. Instead she said she was going to the rodeo (gag me) with my sister Amy and her boyfriend Drew. I was hurt by that. I know it sounds stupid, I really do.  Once upon a time, I came home from Mexico and was depressed for five months, my heart had broken, a place had broken my heart. I had spent my junior high school year in Mexico and so far it was the best year I’ve ever had (but I think this year may be better). coming home felt like my heart was ripped it out of my chest and stomped on it. My family had formed a life without me in the year that I had been gone, I get that. Many times they would act as if I wasn’t included or something, well my sisters always been rather good at that, but not my mom. Well sometimes she does, and it happened today and every time that happens, I get angry, I get angry because I get that feeling again of not belonging, of the heart break, it takes me right back. So I left a not so nice voicemail on my moms phone, I wish I hadn’t of done it but I can’t undo it now.

I just need to get out of Missouri, 94 days. This will be a recurring theme through out this blog. So I came back to Warrensburg because I was so angry and upset. Penelope talked me out of my sadness. I told her that I hadn’t felt like I was at home since I left when I was 16 and that feeling absolutely killed me. I thought maybe I was crazy. It’s the feeling of not belonging anywhere that scares me to the bottom of my core.
Well I get back and Tracy convinces me to go out with her so I get dressed and ready to go out and by the time we get down to Pine Stree (the street with nothing but bars in this town) there was not a lot of people out so we came back and ordered pizza and are now watching Roudie, oh yea and my mom is pissed. Whats new?

Intro: Ava September 22, 2007

Posted by justforfun271 in Ava.
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         I’m not really sure what to say, so I guess I’ve just give some kind of an intro… Here goes. My name is Ava Sommers, I’m 19 years old. I recently returned from spending my summer abroad and it was absolutly amazing. Most of it was in Spain (which wasn’t my cup of tea) but the two weeks I spent in Ireland and France were absolutly amazing. I’ve been back for a little over a month now, even though it seems like longer. So what is there to say about me? I’m loud, and flirty, I won’t think twice about telling you what I really think. My verbal filter however is alot better than what it use to be. My friend Penelope and I both set this thing up to keep in touch better. Her and I met when were in high school, we each spent a year abroad. She went to France and I went to Mexico. Oh what a year. Back to the present. Life has been hectic and busy lately. I’m trying to save up some money, so I can move away from my awkward little town. I was raised in the same small town that my whole family was raised in, it’s not too bad, most of the time. There are those moments that come a little too close to eachother that drive me crazy. I don’t go to school in my smalltown, but where I do go to school is close. University of Central Missouri. Woo hoo. Not too much to celebrate there. I love to laugh and have a good time, but I am also willing to hang out with cool people and just be chill.

           Don’t hate me for saying this. But I’m tired of being alone. I’ve been traveling alone for some time, it doesn’t bother me too much, but I still love the idea of traveling with someone else. I love to travel period, I’m going somewhere and if you want to come, you’re more than welcome but if not, I’m going without you. When I was in Spain, I realized I’m ready to settel down a bit. Hell I’m even trying out these new things they call moral values, so far so good, I did have a small slip up the other day however, but it happens…. even to the best of us. Back when I was in junior high I knew that the man I’m supposed to spend the rest of my life with is not in Missouri, so right after Christmas I’m packing up my life and heading south to North Carolina. I’m not doing this in the idea of meeting the man of my dreams, but to get a change of scenery.

            It’ll be just me in big kid world, I’ll pay my own rent, work for my own money, make my own rules. Yikes. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been doing some of that since I was 17, but the idea of doing all of it alone, is a little intimidating. On that note, I’m going to end this here. Happy reading.

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